“That your faith should not stand (be) in the wisdom of men, but in the power of God.” 1 Corinthians 2:5  One of my all time favorite Bible verses is Romans 3:23, which says this: “For ALL have sinned, and come (fell) short of the glory of God.”

ALL is the key word there, ALL of us, whether we have been saved fifty years or even if we have only been saved a few days. ALL of us. It is not based on looks, character traits, morales, no of that is comes down to one simple truth.

Psalm 51:1:” Behold, I was shapen (brought forth) in iniquity: and in sin did my mother conceive me.”

This verse has nothing to do with anything to do with anyones mother or lineage. This verse IS all of us. ALL of us, EVERY SINGLE HUMAN ON THIS EARTH, with the only exception of this being the birth of Jesus Christ whose conception was by the Holy Ghost overshadowing Mary the Virgin and just supernaturally placing this child in her womb.

And Mary remained a virgin until after Jesus birth. Even though her had Joseph had married, that marriage was not consummated until Jesus. Matthew 1:24,25: “Then Joseph being raised from sleep did and the angel of the Lord had bidden him, and took unto him his wife: And knew her not (kept her a virgin) till she had brought forth her firstborn son: and he called his name JESUS.”

My sincerest desire is to address a COMMON issue facing believers today. The first being those who do believe in God but refuse to surrender to Him because they have fallen to the totally FALSE belief that in order to be saved, we must somehow “make ourselves right”.

Listen my dears, this is impossible. God put it this way to the prophet Jeremiah, 13:23: “Can the Ethiopian change the colour of his skin, or the leopard his spots? then may ye also do good, that are accustomed to do evil.”

We can not change ourselves. We are what we are and to believe in God, knowing that Jesus himself said this, undoubtedly the most quoted scripture of all time, John 3:16-18: “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved. He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the son of God.” 

That is the secret, it is all what WE believe and if we BELIEVE in God but also BELIEVE we can never be saved through pure faith, guess what we will never be saved and that we not be because God would not save us that would mean that we would rather hold onto our guilt and shame, convinced by the enemy that we must be punished and pay a price for hat sin that we are UNABLE to pay.

It IS self-righteousness. It maybe isn’t like hypocritical self-righteousness that we find in churchgoers who look down on everyone else through the holier than thou attitudes and are a smoke in the nostrils of God, because of it. But it is self-righteous in an even worse way, it in effect saying, “Well, I know I need saved, I KNOW Jesus is real but if it all the same, I think I’ll SAVE MYSELF.”

And it can not be done. Jesus Christ IS and WILL always be the only one who came here without sin and remained sinless. As asked in Jeremiah, can ANY of us change what we are BORN as?

No, we admit, ask forgiveness and the next part is the hardest to overcome when we are new to Christ.

The first and most important fact you have to know and get so deep in your soul is this, GOD DOES NOT EXPECT ANYONE TO BE PERFECT. We will ALL have days, we will ALL sometimes stumble, Proverbs 24:16 (a):” For a just man (person) falleth seven times, and RISETH UP AGAIN…”

We are saved, we are covered by the blood but we are STILL human, still in human bodies that ARE genetically PRONE to sin.

Just as birds instinctively, meticulously build nests, baby turtles instinctively know to head out to the ocean, and as humans, we have feet that instinctively “run to destruction.” and we must ACCEPT that.

Stop TRYING to make ourselves perfect and stop trying to live up to expectations of our behavior that God NEVER placed on us and most importantly stop beating ourselves to death over the mistakes of the past or even the makes of yesterday!

The Lord IS our help. He IS our strong tower, and he IS our salvation, we are not our own and we can not be ANY of these things to ourselves.

Micah 7:7,8:”THEREFORE, I will LOOK unto the Lord: I will WAIT for the God of my salvation: my God will hear me.


And that mercy that does not beat us down or condemn us when we come short, we mess up, and that mercy IS for life, not just the moment of salvation.

Lamentations 3:21-23:” THIS  I recall to my mind, therefore have I hope. It IS of the Lord’s mercies that we are not consumed, BECAUSE HIS COMPASSIONS FAIL NOT (never end).

They ARE new every morning; GREAT IS THY FAITHFULNESS.”

So if you’ve been wrestling with this, just let it go. Yes, that simple, let it go. It is not God’s that is putting you through that and you alone have to change your OWN thinking and you change that by just LETTING IT GO. 

Anyone who has read my testimony knows that I struggled a lot coming to Christ, mainly due to these issues,and there was quite a bit of time between the point that I like to call “trying to get saved” which means that I HAD asked, HAD prayed but I still did not feel the change that I needed, until I was delivered and filled with the Holy Ghost.

And we are all different, but I really believe this will help anyone going through this.  and I think this is a really cool story and especially the timing, I am a hopeless romantic, I love Valentine’s Day and every mushy romantic thing you can think of. So Valentine’s Day 2000, my sister gave me what she said was an odd gift for valentine’s day, it was a beautiful personalized Bible, and one month later, I was filled with the Holy Ghost and Thank God, my life has never been the same.

So what she had actually given me was the greatest love story ever written and the author of that story being pure love Himself, which IS perfect for the occasion! So that is my main Bible, but prior to this I had ordered one believe it or not, from an Avon lady when I was in the process of “trying” to GET MYSELF RIGHT 🙂 many of us have been guilty of it.

Anyway, the back has a section for help and I found a heading titled “Jesus’s idea of prayer” and it is actually when they asked him how to pray and he told them the Lord’s prayer, so you know, I thought, that works!

I memorized it and would call my sister every night and ask her to pray with me and I would pray it, and even now when we pray together, we often start out with that prayer. I was so scared trying to pray out loud and even after I was saved, if they call on me in church to testify, I was honestly so shy and scared that I would shake.

So please don’t ever think that you’re too scared, too shy, too nervous, God gives us boldness and courage AS we step out in faith in these areas. So I want to give you this very well-known prayer, but I want to break it down and show why it is essential to memorize this by heart and pray it EVERY day and how each verse can be used individually to pray over any need you may have.

Matthew 6:9-13: “After this manner therefore pray ye.

Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name.

Thy kingdom come.

Thy will be done, in earth, as it is in heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread.

And forgive us our debts, as we also forgive our debtors.

And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil:

for thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory for ever. Amen.” 

This prayer starts with acknowledging God in heavenly realm, it offers to Him the respect and honor due unto his name. Psalm 93:2:” Thy throne is established of old: thou art from everlasting.” Isaiah 66:1:” Thus saith the Lord, The heaven is my throne, and the earth is my footstool….”

Remember Jesus also told us that “Whatsoever ye shall bind on earth, shall be bound in heaven.” So this prayer asks for His kingdom to come for that purpose.

It asks for His will. 1 John 1:14: “And THIS is the confidence we have IN HIM, that, if we ask any thing according to his will, he heareth us.” 

But also for His will to be done IN earth, not only ON earth but in the earth of these vessels we call bodies that became known as humans the moment He created Adam from the dirt of the ground. And it asks AGAIN for that connection between heaven and earth to be established.

Next we are seeking not only our material needs for that day, but ALSO and more importantly our spiritual needs as Jesus also spoke, during His time of temptation by the devil, “It is written that man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word of God.” And that is WHY we must LIVE by these words. 

And of course forgiveness, as we forgive we are forgiven and this includes the mercy, and kindness that He shows us that we are to show others. If we forgive someone their shortcomings, or even something they owe us, or in mercy look over something that had been said or done, God will return the same to us.

This is where we get into, “Judge not, and ye shall not be judged; condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned:” Debts are not always financial or material, we can also be indebted through action and emotion. 

And of course praying NOT to go into temptation, remember what he told the disciples in the garden, Pray that ye not enter into temptation.” This is another area, we ALL can fall to temptation, again we are human. James 1:11-13: “Blessed is the man that endureth temptation; for when he is tried (tested), he shall receive the crown of life, which the Lord hath promised to them that love him. 

Let NO man say when he is tempted, I am tempted of God: for God can not be tempted with evil, NEITHER TEMPTETH HE ANY MAN. But EVERY man (person) IS tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and ENTICED.”

So the devil knows what to send your way to try to entice us away from God, so we are to pray not to go into temptation, BUT deliver us from evil, deliver us from those temptations, and also from all our hurts, pains, and sorrows,and I believe this can prayed over the multitudes on a higher scale.

  And it ends with a three-fold acknowledgement,  “a three fold cord is not easily broken” and this gives honor and allegiance, not to this world and the powers that be, but honor and allegiance to Him and His kingdom, as He also said to Pilate, “My kingdom is not of this world: if my kingdom were of this world, then would my servants fight, that I should not be delivered to the Jews: but now is my kingdom not hence.” 

Hence translating to here, but it one day be as we are told in Revelation 11:15…” The kingdoms of THIS world are become (have become) the kingdoms of our Lord, and of his Christ, AND HE SHALL REIGN FOR EVER AND EVER.” 

His power, which has no rival or equal, as  Jesus also said, All power is given unto me in heaven and earth.” He expounds on the full reach of that power, Luke 12:5: “But I will forewarn you whom ye shall fear: Fear him, which after he hath killed hath power to cast into hell: yea, I say unto you, Fear him.” 

Habakkuk 2:14:”For the earth shall be filled with the knowledge of the glory of the Lord, as the waters cover the sea.”

And the need to ALWAYS bear that glory in mind, speaking of FUTURE New Jerusalem Revelation 21:23: And the city had no need of the sun, neither the moon, to shine in it: FOR THE GLORY OF GOD DID LIGHTEN IT, AND THE LAMB IS THE LIGHT THEREOF.” 

This prayer covers it all. of course you still need to study and learn all you can but I hope this comforts someone by helping you realize that GOD IS FOR YOU! He is ever present and ever merciful. Jesus is the only person who has died to save us from our sins, why on earth would He not help us overcome our own flesh? No one wants you to make it to heaven more that him! TRUST THAT!

Just ENJOY that salvation and rest knowing that “he who started  a good work in you will finish it”!

Wishing you love, peace, and a blessed week!

Φλογιζω NBJ 2017



“Grinding the ax” #4 “STRANGLE HOLD”

“Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest thy be discouraged.” Colossians 3:21

Our fathers, the first and foremost man in our formative years. And if you have a good one, that is great and will be a guaranteed blessing over your entire life. But what about the fathers who are warned in the verse above?

This verse is actually almost verbatim in Ephesians 6:4:” And ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath; but bring them up in the nurture (training) and admonition OF the Lord.”  

So we are being told what NOT to do and exactly what we should do. Children who are constantly “ridden” by their parents, who are made to feel whether intentionally or unintentionally that they are never quite good enough, or “perform” well enough to “earn” the love that they should have naturally received from that parent.

I do know this verse specifies fathers, but we know the damage mothers can do is equally as damaging.

And we could pull a truck load of stats on the completely dysfunctional mother/son relationships that are often prominent among serial killers.

So what I want to focus on the relationship of fathers to daughters and the relationships that are formed later in life.

I also want to bring into the mix the fact that often when women have had extremely dominating fathers and whether that consisted of physical abuse alongside the obvious emotional damage that is caused, that seems to put the pattern in place.

But testosterone is a funny thing and soul debilitating dominance lorded over women is not ALWAYS by their fathers. It can come later in life through a boyfriend, husband, or even male friends who can become quite the material for a medieval tale of when black knights begin to suffer from white knight syndrome .

When “friendship” leads to the need to control your life, and demand answers for your every move that is no longer friendship, that IS control. Male dominance has been and is still our toughest battle regardless of what role that male has in our life.

But for some, it is a short path from growing up with a horrid father to marrying an even worse husband.

So how did it start? People taking the word of God and their DISTORTED view of God and applying THEIR carnality to it. Just as God answered it in his word: 

Judges 21:25: “In those days there was no king in Israel: EVERY MAN DID THAT WHICH WAS RIGHT IN HIS OWN EYES.”

And things have certainly NOT been right and are still NOT right.

But with the revelation of Isaiah 33:22: “For the Lord IS our judge, the Lord IS our lawgiver, the Lord IS our king; HE WILL SAVE US.”

We know things can and must change. Cruelty and wickedness hiding behind the disguise of goodness and righteousness is nothing new.

The devil himself pretending through the serpent to be a friend to Eve, the wicked all through the Bible whispering into the ears of those who would hear, plans of how to destroy another and thereby having them also destroy themselves.

“Spare the rod, spoil the child” taken so far out of context and USED specifically as a Biblical justification for nothing more than truly sadistic people to senselessly beat children.

If you doubt me on that, web search a few cases of children being adopted and even born into supposedly christian families taken away, rescued out of horrendous abuse. People have even written books advocating these UNGODLY practices.

The old Testament ALSO had a law on stoning your son.. IF he were  a drunkard.. how many little kids drink again?

Listen what Jesus told the Pharisees when they were hassling him about the OT marriage laws.

Mark 10:3-5; “And he answered and said,unto them, What did Moses command you? and they said, Moses suffered (PERMITTED) to write a bill of divorcement, and to put her away. 

And Jesus answered and said unto them, (Because) For the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept.”

Meaning that they WERE given these severe laws because of their own hardness.

But God reveals His thoughts through His word, James 2:13: “For he SHALL have judgment WITHOUT mercy who hath shewed (shown) NO MERCY; and mercy rejoiceth against (TRIUMPHS OVER) judgment.” 

It is like this, just because we are technically allowed to do something DOES NOT mean that is what God desires for us to do it.

Micah 6:8:” He hath shewed thee, O man, ( all people), what IS good; and what doth (does) the Lord require of thee,  but to do justly and LOVE MERCY (loving kindness),and to walk humbly with thy God? 

So if all of this coupled with stories such as when the angel of the Lord put the smack down on Balaam and lined him out for hitting the donkey (Numbers 22:27-33),  doesn’t prove that God want us to ALL be kind toward each other and to also BE treated kindly, I don’t know what more could.

Just as treating children harshly came from the thoughts of people doing what they wanted.

We also got pulled into the “submission” trap. The Bible does truly say, “wives submit unto your own husbands” but again that is something that has been taken and RAN wild with, as if we were some sort of inferior creation that God placed here for men.

Oh I don’t think so.

Submission means to RESPECT your husband, to care about his feelings and not treat him like dirt, don’t make fun of him, and emotionally emasculate him by being that “brawling” woman spoken of in Proverbs.

God’s intentions for this was that the husband SHOULD be exactly what His word said for him to be.

And in this a husband was to be “submitted” to, as in a place of safety and a place of trust, such as that verse goes on to say “as unto the Lord”.

And I would love to hear the excuses that so many are going to try to give the Lord as to why they betrayed this TRUST that he had given them with their wives and children, and it’s not going to be a pretty picture!

So it DOES NOT mean we are subservient, or a lesser in God’s eyes.

It means that we SHOULD have that protective, nurturing, place if we ever need and at times we all do.

We covered His word in the last post of how He EXPECTS His daughters to be treated and seeing that even in a nation where women have many rights and “hold our own” we can all attest to our numbers of domestic violence, for all the strides we have made, in this area, we have gone backward!

We ARE more free. We HAVE more resources. We HAVE better laws and protection. So what went wrong? Why do we have these statistics that say we are NOT free by any stretch of imagination?

We are still trapped somewhere in our psyches by the lies of the past and the misogynistic teachings of generations before and we want to HIDE that pain and we are giving over to absolutely FALSE sense of shame by not speaking out.

That is what the enemy WANTS and just as he lied to Eve, he is lying to so many women about their past and keeping them in a “strangle hold” that prevents them from moving FORWARD.


If we have that past or are presently living with dominance, harshness, physical, or emotional abuse that is exactly what is happening to us.

The reason the devil has perfected it is because if you have had these experiences with men, especially fathers or husbands, HOW on earth can you “submit” to a being who is male?

When women are brainwashed into BELIEVING that they are subservient and God hates them, why would they seek Him?

The devil bagged and tagged on this one and we have to stop him!

We stop him by NOT taking anyone’s word for who we are or who God created us to be. Study God’s word and discover for yourself!

And when you reach the verses stating that “women are to be silent” and  “i suffer not a woman to teach…” STUDY the background with a good dictionary/history Bible and you will find that Paul was talking to a specific group of people AT THAT TIME. Because a group of women were “gunning” for him and trying to bring in false teachings and for that PERIOD IN TIME, he forbade them to speak so he could PROTECT the Gospel.

Need a little more reassurance, dig this, Galatians 3:23,28: “But before faith came, we were kept under the law, shut up unto the faith that should afterwards be revealed.

Wherefore  the law was our schoolmaster to bring us unto Christ, that we might be justified by faith.

But after THAT faith is come, we are no longer under a schoolmaster. For YE ALL ARE THE CHILDREN OF GOD by faith in Jesus Christ. 

For as many of you as have been baptized into Christ, have put on Christ.  There is NEITHER Jew nor Greek,  there is NEITHER bond nor free, THERE IS NEITHER MALE NOR FEMALE; FOR YE ARE ALL ONE IN CHRIST.”

That is a good verse to put to anyone who wants to argue Paul’s teachings with you…. he wrote that. He wrote the verses used to silence women and he wrote the verse that proved otherwise,  all true, but taken out of context by those who WANT to twist those verses to justify their own prejudices.

It’s time to separate God from the men who claim to represent him! If you are dealing with these issues or dealing with the past issues, PLEASE talk to Him, talk to Him just as if he were in the room sitting there.

I promise He does hear and tell Him how you feel, TRUTHFULLY how you feel, if you end up in tears and “I HATE…” starts coming out of your mouth, LET IT COME because the only way we recover is through submitting that to God and HE KNOWS how we feel and when you have been hurt and are trying to work past it.

God is not going to hold that against you, it is normal to feel that way and once you let it go, you will NO LONGER feel that.

But you have to get it out, ALL of it, at His feet, Hebrews 4:15: “For we have NOT an high priest which cannot be touched WITH THE FEELINGS OF OUR INFIRMITIES…” 

Which means Jesus suffered through all the things we do and HE DOES UNDERSTAND any possible thing you could tell Him and he understands with love, compassion, and gentleness toward you and He wants to take it away and give you peace and be those protective arms that hold you through your tears.

But first we must decide that we are slaves no more and no more will we live in the devil’s strangle hold.

There is NO shame in having been a victim and there is courage in admitting that you are a survivor. There is NO shame in needing out NOW and fear is perfectly normal when fighting for your freedom.

We just have to decide which we are WILLING to be. Think about these verses: Isaiah 53:4-6,11: ” Fear not; for thou shalt not be ashamed; neither shall thou be confounded (disgraced); for thou shalt not be put to shame; for thou SHALT FORGET the shame of thy youth, and SHALT NOT REMEMBER the reproach of thy widowhood any more. 

For thy Maker is thine husband; the Lord of hosts is his name; and the Redeemer the Holy One of Israel; The God of the whole earth shall he be called. 

For the Lord hath called thee as a woman forsaken and grieved in spirit, and a wife of youth, when thou wast refused (suffered rejection) saith thy God.  

O thou afflicted, tossed with tempest, (tormented and battered by ‘storm”)  and NOT comforted. behold, I WILL lay thy stones with fair colours, and lay thy FOUNDATIONS with sapphires.”

He knows, and He alone can give us that comfort that we have not been given, He alone see the pain of every season we can go through.

And He alone can lay for us that beautiful foundation, built upon Him and His TRUTH. Trust Him, know Him and most of all, let Him know you!

Related posts: “Grinding the ax” 1 “acknowledgement”

“Grinding the ax” 2… “Real Love?”

“Grinding the ax” #3 “Anger Danger”


God Bless you and thanks for reading, next time, I’ll practice what I preach and get into “Broken”. Love and Peace!Εξυπνιζω NBJ 2017



“Grinding the ax” 2… “Real Love?”

“For the ways of a man are before the eyes of the Lord, and he pondereth (observes) all of his goings. His own iniquities shall take (entrap) the wicked himself, and he shall be holden (caught) with the cords (binding ropes) of his own sin.” Proverbs 5:21,22

Going to go a little in reverse with these scriptures. But I do have a question, why is ABUSE among family or spouses “domestic” abuse?

Of course I am being  a little flip here, but does it mean it is “tame” and completely unlike random “stranger” attacks?  Is is permissible BECAUSE it is interwoven into a family unit? Obviously so and THAT is the problem and THAT is why we are so quick to dismiss it.


I have asked this question many times, but if God wanted this for ANYONE, male or female (because there ARE many abused men also) why on earth would Jesus have allowed Himself to be tortured and beaten before the crucifixion?

WHY would He had went through that IF His will was for His children to be in abusive relationships?

And so many women have suffered senselessly having been BRAINWASHED by the notion that this IS God’s will because they had taken vows.

What about the common “To LOVE, HONOR, and CHERISH” vow, most men have taken?

And of course we are all outraged at the treatment women suffer through in many more oppressed parts of the world, (as WE should be) BUT if as Americans our rates of abuse are through the roof, HOW can we encourage and be examples to others to fight for that freedom, if we allow ourselves to be victims behind closed doors?

Got to get our own houses in order before we tell others how to arrange their furniture.

And people could ask of me, what gives me a right to speak about any of it, well, as with this blog’s title, I have learned a lot at the feet of Jesus, and I have been through A LOT and I can point to my own teen years, restraining order and later living through the nightmare of acquaintance stalking (which I will probably share my story soon about, that one is still a tough one and I have wrestled with just how far I want to go with that).

But through it all, Those experiences ARE what lead me to God and how I do understand the”cause and effect” of the aftermath of falling into the traps the enemy has set for us and the self-destructive road it will lead us down, IF we do not seek divine intervention BEFORE we hit that intersection.

We all start in the SAME place, we want to be loved and we want to be accepted but people who have been hurt, and wounded TEND to attract predators and the reason for this, as it was explained to me, is that they literally sense that vulnerability in you and this explains why it is OVER and OVER and OVER for so many UNTIL the let the Lord break that yoke.

Because it IS a yoke. And it IS a yoke of desiring freedom for others BUT believing deep down inside that you yourself DO NOT deserve that freedom and that mindset is just part of the grand trap and I know with the American numbers of one in three women who ARE living in these relationships, obviously someone or many someones FEEL this way.

My starting verse I chose because of something a guy actually told me once that his girlfriend had said to him, and people wear many “faces” and usually the guys we come to discover have been so dreadful to their mates ARE the very ones, most likely voted to be, well, “less likely” and have high praise from others and with the same eeriness that interviewed neighbors of serial killers often portray, the echoed words are usually, “He SEEMED like such a great guy…..” and statements such as, “He was ALWAYS polite and courteous….” classic!

And Lucifer was ALSO the most beautiful of God’s creations and can TRANSFORM into an “angel of light” BUT he is still the same old evil being, just dressed up in a more appealing costume.

That is the thing, UNTIL we as a society and individuals DECIDE to have  a zero tolerance for how we allow OURSELVES to be treated, it is not going to stop.

The cycles are not going to end and without God and determination that it stops, those generational chains of not only being prone to becoming an abuser but also those chains of being psychologically prone to becoming  a victim, are never going to come off.

And everyone HAS to stop making excuses for others, male, female, whatever. If you feel like you have to make excuses for how they treat you, YOU DO NOT NEED THAT PERSON IN YOUR LIFE.

I want to break this into two groups. Marital and non-martial. But we run into one more problem that needs dealt with when tackling this subject.

God INTENDED for sexual relationships to be under the sanctification of marriage, SO if you are in a relationship that has become sexual, SPIRITUALLY, you ARE already “married” to that person and the soul damage is still going to be just as great.

Everyone likes to argue the fact, that you don’t “need a piece of paper” to prove love.

Well, in this case, is not the paper, it IS the act of consummation that does it.

Satan has turned people against marriage and commitment based on the “freedom” theory.

The lack of marriage does NOT protect you from anything and can actually set people up for far worse.

So we are running our scriptures from that point, the word of God concerning, men, women, love, and marriage. 

MARRIAGE: 1 Corinthians 7: 2-15: ” Nevertheless, to avoid fornication (which IS still a sin, regardless of what the world has to say) let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.

Let the husband render due benevolence (affection); and likewise also the wife unto the husband.

The wife hath not power over her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife {are you seeing this is MUTUAL teaching?}

Defraud (deprive) ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that satan tempt you NOT for your incontinency. 

But I speak this by permission, and NOT of commandment. {Paul was expressly HIS heart-felt beliefs on the subject}

For I would (wish) that all were even as myself (celibate). But every man (person) hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that. I say this to the unmarried and widows.

It is good for them if they abide even as I. But if they can not contain (exercise control), let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn (with passion).

And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband:

But and IF she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away (divorce) his wife.

But to the rest speak I, not the Lord; If any brother hath a wife that believeth NOT, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him NOT put her away.

And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and he be pleased to dwell with her, let her NOT leave him.

For the unbelieving husband IS sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife IS sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.

But if the unbelieving depart, LET HIM DEPART. A brother or sister IS NOT under bondage in SUCH cases: but GOD HATH CALLED US TO PEACE.” 

You can see from these scriptures that there IS equality and that there IS times that we should part ways with each other. Paul was so careful to address the differences between what is acceptable for believers and for those who are not yet.

But NO ONE is under bondage to another human being.

Same chapter, verse 23, declares this beautifully: “Ye are BOUGHT with a price; BE YE NOT SERVANTS OF MEN.”

Think about the starter verse from part 1 in this series, ” ..for OF whom a man (person) IS overcome, OF THE SAME IS HE BROUGHT IN BONDAGE.”

God DOES deliver us, God saves us, BUT if we can easily allow ourselves snared BACK into that same trap and just stick the title of “love” on it.

Bad relationships have NOTHING to do with love. Think about these verses:

1 John 4:18: “There is NO fear in love; but perfect love (God’s love) casteth OUT fear; because FEAR HATH TORMENT….” 

1 Corinthians 13 :4-8: “Charity (LOVE) suffereth long (long-suffering means endurance in difficult situations)and IS KIND; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not: (doesn’t brag on) itself, is NOT puffed up (prideful).

Doth NOT behave itself unseemly (rudely)seeketh NOT her own (isn’t self absorbed),  is NOT easily provoked (does NOT fly into fits of rage),  thinketh NO evil;

Rejoiceth NOT in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;

Beareth all things, Believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. Charity (LOVE) NEVER FAILS….” 

So back to the beginning.. WHAT exactly does the Lord see when He sees interactions between couples?



And did he not make one? { God’s marriage commandment that TWO SHALL BECOME AS ONE} Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed (children). THEREFORE TAKE HEED TO YOUR SPIRIT, AND LET NONE DEAL TREACHEROUSLY AGAINST THE WIFE OF HIS YOUTH.”

Colossians 3:11: “Husbands LOVE your wives and BE NOT BITTER AGAINST THEM.” 


That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word. That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. 

SO OUGHT MEN TO LOVE THEIR WIVES AS THEIR OWN BODIES, He that loveth his wife loveth himself.

For NO man ever yet hate his own flesh; but NOURISHETH AND CHERISHETH IT, EVEN AS THE LORD THE CHURCH:



 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 


Ask yourself this, does the relationship you are in fit THIS criteria?

Does the love you feel from the other person fit THIS criteria?

Or does that “love” come with the “torment” of fear?

Think about it and please join me next time and we’ll see what the Bible says about dealing with angry people,and the truth about submission, you might be quite surprised.

Εξυπνιζω NBJ 2017

To read series:               “Grinding the ax” 1 “acknowledgement”

“Grinding the ax” #3 “Anger Danger”

“Grinding the ax” #4 “STRANGLE HOLD”


“Grinding the ax” 1 “acknowledgement”

2 Peter 2:19 (a): “For of whom a man (person) is overcome, of the same is he brought in bondage.”

So many women either are there, have been there, and done that, and keep going back and doing it again, and again.

Why do so many have problems with this issue?

This does cross-reference to sin but it can apply to many situations in life. And that is exactly what I am using it for.

Domestic violence and unhealthy relationships that so many get trapped in and KEEP getting trapped in.

The psychology behind all this is truly mind numbing, you could study it from every possible angle and condition and still never truly understand what makes people evil or what makes people stay in relationships with evil people.

But Biblically, we have EXTREMELY clear answers but as we know often these answers have been twisted through the years to fit into a religious male agenda.

And I am not saying all Christian guys, pastors, or teachers hold these views. FAR FROM IT, but the ones who have held those views, more so in the days of old have more than damaged the cause for women’s rights and equality.

Women are destroying themselves, staying in theses relationships, allowing these false beliefs and false views on what they should be, need to be, and especially are expected of God to be.

This is such a double-edged sword topic because I know of a certainty many women who are feminists want NOTHING to do with God because of thees falsely taught beliefs and then others suffer in these relationship because they BELIEVE God expects them too. And it is ALL wrong, wrong, and wrong!

And after “refreshing” my brain with the new stats, obviously whatever we are doing as a society is NOT working.

Common knowledge abusers often came from home of abuse. Men who as children saw their mothers abused by their fathers. Women who as children witnessing the abuse of their mothers.

And everyone growing up with all the wiring and all the wrong data being programmed into them and when they are faced with the same situation later in life that default reaction takes over.

Not always, but often and you can trace the “target” on one’s head that attracts predators to some other traumatic event, but nevertheless, it is still a target.

Here’s some stats: The leading cause of injuries for women in the United States is abuse, to the tune of around slightly over four billion dollars a year being spent on medical costs of those abuse.

Every nine seconds a woman is beaten or assaulted.

Worldwide, one in three women are beaten or coerced into sex or other forced activity. 

Threats or threatened suicide by their boyfriend affect one in five teenaged girls.

One in four women suffer violent attacks at least once in their lifetime, usually before the age of twenty-five.

One in ten women are raped by their partners. Men who beat their partners and ALSO beat their children are a staggering sixty-two percent.

And pets are also usually victimized. {which should be an easy one, IF a guy hurts you, he sure as Hades isn’t going to care who else he hurts, ESPECIALLY someone you love, these people ARE evil and we must realize that}

And for the record, if you are in one of these relationships, as the adult, it is your responsibility to not only get yourself out of this relationship but you are the ONLY way of getting the children, pets, and whoever else that may be vulnerable and unable to take action for themselves, out of harm’s way. These people are not going to change, until they want to change and  there is NO SUCH THING as toughing it out for the children.

As the Bible states, Proverbs 22:6: “Train up a child in the way he should go, and (even) when HE IS OLD, HE WILL NOT DEPART FROM IT.”

It does not matter what school or society teaches, what shapes all of us is what OUR parents teach us and what we learn in our own homes. And that can take a lifetime to overcome if it is not the RIGHT teachings and how to correctly, respectfully interact with one another.

They are being damaged with every passing moment they are subjected to this dysfunctional lifestyle and if you want your son to grow up to batter the women in his life  just keep letting him to see his father or any man beat you.

And if you want to almost guarantee your daughter to be someone’s future punching bag then keep allowing her to see you beaten and verbally abused and YOUR responses in taking him back time after time after time and trying to hold it all together with the age old excuse “He doesn’t mean it”, or “He loves us in his own way.” 

He does MEAN it and He does not love anyone but himself.


 Love does not hit and love should never hurt.(but we’ll get into what the Bible teaches on that in a following post in this series) loneliness, fear, not being “able to make it without them” are not valid excuses, and I did say excuse because we have to quit making excuses for them, that’s why we have an epidemic.

Would you not want protection from a stranger that just walked up to you and beat you senseless?

Would you not want that person prosecuted so that he could not hurt anyone else? There is NO difference, the only difference is the difference we make in justifying it.  

Men whose fathers abused their mothers have double the rate of abusing women. Women are not always the victim of a father, husband, or boyfriend.

Talk about “friends like that…” fifty three percent of rapes are committed against women by their “friends”.

 Thirty-six percent of women who have reported aggravated assaults have been assaulted by their “friends”.

And twenty-two percent of  the women who are murdered are murdered by their “friends”. 

It’s not just family, and friends, twenty-four percent of stalking victims are stalked by acquaintances and thirteen percent are stalked by complete strangers.

Even with all these truly horrific numbers the most terrifying thought is that we allow it. 

 We allow it individually and we allow it as a society and  women who have been subjected to  a lifetime of abuse, often going from growing up with an abusive father, marrying an abusive husband, or dating abusive men, (often the same kind of man, over and over) and finally finding themselves in a place of hopelessness with no self-esteem, riddled with false guilt and false shame trapped in a prison of the mind. And I want to show you through this series that God does NOT want that for you.

And for other women, even after overcoming the original bondage of abuse, still become entangled in other relationships and self depreciating patterns that are just as deadly and just as damaging to the soul. 

But hopefully this is a “thinking point” and if you are in this situation, please get out and I know that is sometimes easier said than done. But get out and allow Jesus to start that healing process and again we’ll get into a lot of Bible teachings about how God WANTS you to be treated and believe me it is with the highest love, respect, and cherishment.

And we’ll learn about the pitfalls and snares that that undealt with soul damage can lead us to us. And explain the title a little better.

Information taken from below listed sources and I encourage for more information to check out these sites and learn more, especially the warning signs that you could be in a dangerous relationship. Please join me next time and until then please check out the song below. Our ONLY peace…..

Εξυπνιζω NBJ 2017

To read this entire series:

“Grinding the ax” 2… “Real Love?”

“Grinding the ax” #3 “Anger Danger”

“Grinding the ax” #4 “STRANGLE HOLD”

Information taken from the following sources:

domestic violence statics .org

ace treatment centers.org 

ending stalking in america (esia). org

There are countless resources on this subject.


“Misplaced pearls”


“The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy; I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.”And of course that was Jesus speaking in John 10:10

And you may be wondering just what that has to do with pearls… EVERYTHING! Pearls ARE precious, most of us own a strand,we wear them on important occasions, and days we just want to dress up a little but there is something so secret, so beautiful, so feminine that many of us love the feeling of wearing a strand of  beautiful pearls with our favorite pair of jeans.

WHY? What on earth could be so different about these perfect little orbs that sets them so far apart from other “jewels” that may be considered EVEN more beautiful like diamonds, rubies, sapphires, emeralds, or even jade and all stones semi-precious?

Could it because of the association pearls have ALWAYS been associated with PURITY and INNOCENCE?

Forever the choice jewelry of BRIDES everywhere and do you remember reading that I did write that this entire blog is stir up and awaken us to the realization that we are part of a soon to take place wedding?


Revelation 20:9: “And he said unto me, Write, BLESSED ARE THEY WHICH ARE CALLED UNTO THE MARRIAGE SUPPER OF THE LAMB.And he saith unto me, These are the true sayings of God.”

And we are encouraged throughout the Bible to be prepared, to have on our “wedding garments” as John saw:

“And I John saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down from God out of heaven, PREPARED as a bride adorned for her husband.” Revelation 21:2

And at this wedding we ALL get to wear our pearls! But sometimes we misplace them, or the “thief” comes and truly steals them, hides them from us, or just rips the strand apart and they plunge to the ground, whirling in  a hundred directions and landing a thousand miles apart and we are left with the task of trying to recover every single pearl and restring the entire necklace.

But you know, we are not that talented because our true pearls were master crafted and ONLY He can put that necklace together again.

One of the ways pearls have been worn over the ages is a symbol of mourning because the little seed pearls look like tear drops and pearls were chosen by brides as a representation of purity, chastity, innocence, beauty, and mostly importantly for here, NEW BEGINNINGS.

Spiritually we are BORN with those beautiful pearls AS a gift from our Father when He created us.

And THOSE pearls ARE our innocence, our purity, and our beauty in Him. But LIFE and the enemy have  a way of sneaking in and either getting us to take off those pearls and lay them aside and sometimes in moments of repeatedly putting them on, only to decide to take them back off, we end up misplacing them.

And sometimes we have taken them off, laid them down on a nightstand and the enemy has stolen them, hid them, and laughed as we beg for them back.. all the while telling us that had we really wanted them we would have never been in that bed anyway and now we don’t deserve them back.

And I think the hardest would be when you did not take them off, the enemy came with destruction and ripped them off your neck and being left absolutely helpless trying to gather them through your tears as they roll across the floor.

Can you see it? Can you see the innocence and the purity that the enemy HAS stolen, killed, and destroyed concerning the sisters and daughters IN the world and those who are SAVED and STILL struggle with surrendering completely to God for fear of what the enemy has LIED to them about?  

Jesus IS the RESTORER, He wants nothing more than to RESTORE every single part of us. We are the ones who have the problem actually LETTING Him do that because we are often so afraid to let Him see what needs shown, EVEN though He already sees it, He already knows it.

You can be saved and still be holding on to something so deep, so painful that whether you know it or not really does IMPACT everything about your life, your happiness, and your joy. And to have true fulfillment in who He created you to be and who He wants you to be on this earth, you have to ask yourself, Where are those pearls?

And if NONE of this applies to you, that is great and just pray for the 99.9% that it does apply to.

Virginity or rather the loss thereof.. which is usually, in our present world the real point that starts so many women down the spiral to places He never intended His daughters to walk because that is something so precious and was only EVER meant to be shared in a holy union and that is why so many women have felt disillusioned, lost, and instead of feeling loved, been left feeling completely empty and this sets them up to repeat this over and over again because so many feel like once that have started this path, the can never go back BUT I promise you can get off that path any time you choose.

Our society has brain washed women into giving themselves completely away simply because the world tells them that is what they are supposed to do.

Satan IS a liar and the father of lies, you will never find “love” in anything the world has to offer and sex is just satan’s completely carnal counter to what God had intended to be beautiful and it will never make you feel anything, when it is all said and done, than worse than you did before it happened.

Virginity is an absolute blessed state. So taking that obvious “loss” off the table. Pearls can be lost and damaged by our relationships to our father’s, fathers are supposed to protect us, nurture us and not everyone has that relationship or if you have had a father who is just emotionally distant, you are losing the pearls of security knowing that someone is looking out for you and that there is someone who will love you unconditionally and dry all your tears.

Maybe you had a great childhood and a wonderful Dad but marriage was the misplacement of your pearls.

If trust is broken when you have given someone your heart, your life, every part of all you are and it is supposed to be forever and either he turns out to be a jerk or worse a cheating batterer, because those two go hand in hand, well that is a recipe for a whole different disaster.

So, if as you have read this, you are feeling tears swell up just a little, I want to challenge you, we all KNOW our hearts, we all KNOW our hurts, wounds, and raging resentments, write them down, in your own private time, write them down, every single thing as far back as you can go that has hurt you, made you question your self-worth, and especially things that have made you feel like you have lost “yourself” and of course it is going to hurt and it will probably hurt like no tomorrow. 

Don’t be surprised if you see things that you never noticed, times where people were manipulating you and you never realized, times that you can see in retrospect that led to bad decisions and self-destructive behavior later on.

If you worry someone will find your innermost secrets, burn it or shred it in  a million pieces and flush it when you are through.

But it is necessary because it frees you and helps you recognize things for what they really are.

Wounds, memories, and mistakes that DO NOT define who you are, and we have to acknowledge these areas in order to TRULY give it all to Christ.

He is a perfect gentleman and He wants to help you and make all things new and HE DOES already KNOW every single detail of your life BUT He will not force His way into your life, but wants you to come to Him, KNOWING that He does NOT judge you and will NOT be asking WHY on earth did you do that?

Nor will He ask, WHAT were you thinking? He is nothing like anything most have been taught and I promise once you start “searching” for those pearls and being honest about “where” your life, in your past they had been misplaced or “where” they were stolen or THOUGHT destroyed by an event that you HAD NO CONTROL over.

HE CAN MAKE IT ALL NEW, I can not stress that enough, And I promise once that “alabaster” starts to crack, you will know, you will probably feel like your cracking too, but we HAVE to break to be made new and HE WILL NEVER LET YOU BREAK BEYOND REPAIR, so do not be afraid, LET HIM hold you and wipe away every tear and place upon your neck an even more precious strand, whose cost is beyond measure, and this new strand will never be misplaced again.

Join me next time and we’ll check out some alabaster!

Εξυπνιζω NBJ 2017

Love this song! And this IS what you need to know!



“As the lily among the thorns, so is my love among the daughters” Song of Solomon 2:2
The beautiful spiritual garden of the Lord, filled with every plant and flower to be imagined and the plot he has chosen for you to grow in.

You have been created in the image of God, the enemy knows this and he knows the value of the true beauty which you possess. He despises it, so he plants his briers in your life to rip and shred that image until there is nothing left but bloody, twisted, painful wounds.

Thorns, the gnarled twisted vines that entangle us and who we believe ourselves to be.

Their razor-sharp points piercing our souls, preventing our movement in either direction for fear of their sharp sting. If left to grow they will completely take over our souls.

“There is that (one who) speaketh like the piercings of a sword.” Proverbs 12:18(a)

We go through some pretty rough stuff in this life but often the real damage to us is not caused by physical sufferings but rather through words. Words are so powerful, that is why Jesus is referred to as “THE WORD”, He spoke everything into existence and the enemy loves nothing more than to battle you with his own perverted, twisted, destructive words.

As the Bible states, those words stab our hearts, souls and spirit to a greater degree than any dagger ever might, because these cuts go straight to the heart.

“Four Eyes”, “Dumb”, “Stupid”, “Wimp”, “Fat”, “Bone rack”, “Flat chest”,” Slut”, “Idiot”, “Cry Baby”, “Should have never been born”, “Never will amount to anything”.

Of course, they are always offered to us with the all too familiar, “YOUR…’ which automatically red flags our minds which have been programmed to the values of this world and our social need to conform to default to self-blame.

It hurts just reading them doesn’t it? These words are so powerful and carry so much force that even not being spewed hatefully at us, they still affect our emotions.

Words piercing our souls, and so many young men and women in our world today have listened to those words and the thorns that accompanied them are now strangling everything a Holy, loving Father has created them to be.

Society has set levels of supposed beauty and social conduct that are both impossible to achieve and disgraceful.
We have all been there at one point or another in life, maybe you are there now and the effects of these words can linger for life.

Self destruct mode takes over when those thorns have convinced us that rather than rid ourselves of them, that we must instead change ourselves to accommodate their presence.

IF we were prettier, more handsome, bigger busted, more muscled, slimmer, sexier, had better skin, whiter teeth, had more friends or could get that perfect date.
Maybe we could fit if we drank more, tried the cool drugs, give our virtue away to everyone who asked, losing a little of our soul each time, joy, self-esteem and self-worth being strangled out, while depression, guilt and shame moves comfortably into their spot.

Achieve one goal and a new one will be set because that score board is rigged and it forever changes to keep the players on the field right where the enemy wants them.

If it is so grand, why do so many celebrities commit suicide and die from drug overdoses?
Their souls have become so covered by thorns even all the money, fame and power can’ take the pain away, they are so miserable inside that they can no longer bear living.

These thorns manifest themselves in many, many ways the most common alcoholism, drug addictions, pornography and gambling addictions, cutting and eating disorders and host of self-destructive behaviors.

We, as Christians must get our heads out of fairy land and see what is really take place in the lives of those Christ sent us to minister to and start acknowledging that these problems are very real and offer help to the untold number of teens and adults that suffer alone in silence, fearing that they will be farther ridiculed if their secrets are out.

We have to teach them that is okay to talk about these things and that there is help and most of all there is hope.
The realization has to come that THERE IS NO STANDARD! We are fearfully and wonderfully  created, completely on purpose by someone who loves and does not make mistakes.

He wants us all to feel beautiful from the inside out and most of that our true value will be found in Him. That we would understand that true beauty comes in a variety of shapes, sizes and colors and personalities.

Just as roses, daisies and orchids are completely different and yet all equally as stunning.
His love is as the lily, the beautiful precious thing, completely surrounded by those thorns.
His love and His love alone is the only force that can cut all the thorns away and allow us to grow in that beautiful garden, being ourselves, just exactly who he intended us to be.

Hold on to God, give him all your pain and trust him because “HE IS THE ROSE OF SHARON AND THE LILY OF THE VALLEYS” and you are beautiful in Him!
Original Post Date:06/06/2014 

All rights reserved. Nina BrownJohnson/ baresoulphlogizo 2015



Ashes, sometimes all that is all that is left of what once was your life all that was held precious and dear, all that is left of what once was and most importantly what will be never again.
Maybe you feel that way today, maybe you have wounds that are so deep, wounds that are as a festering infection, hurting and oozing. 

You try your best to dress them but to no avail, you are putting a band-aid on a sucking chest wound that need surgical repair, performed by the only one who specializes in surgery of the soul.
Wounds hidden under the ashes that have built up by troubles of life each time, a little of the fire in your soul have been smothered out.
Ashes of abuse suffered in childhood.

Ashes of having your innocence stolen away, the enemy maybe even convincing you somewhere along the way that this was actually your fault.
Ashes of your Prince Charming transforming into the absolute Prince of Darkness. Ashes of bad decisions made in haste, just to kill the pain a little.

Ashes of unplanned pregnancy ending in a regretted abortion, because others convinced you to take the easy way out.

Ashes of losing a loved one much to soon. All the ashes of your life.
Maybe you asked yourself, If He is real why does He let these things happen?

it just you? Does He only care for a select, perfect, chosen few?
Maybe you have reached out to a “believer” their response to you only worsening your feeling of worthlessness and shame.

Tell you a little secret about that, “all that glitters is not gold”. Jesus said we would know a tree by the fruit it bears, so no matter how much a person professes Christ, if they mistreat you, that lets you know something is not right within them and if left unrepentant, they will be numbered with those that will hear Him say “Depart from me, I never knew you”.

But please don’t base who you believe Him to be on anyone that is why He warns us of these people, to beware of them and their poison. Discover him for yourself, work out your own salvation with fear (respect) and trembling(seriousness).

God only requires that we repent, keep His commandments and do our best each day, our reasonable service and some days we may not do so good but his mercy is renewed every single day, he doesn’t expect you to be perfect, the bible translation of the word is blameless.

No one is perfect, and if we were why would we have needed a Savior?
The truth is that He wants you just as you are, He rewards those who diligently seek Him. He knows every mistake you have ever made, and more importantly He has seen every tear that you have cried and each one is precious to Him.
He is timeless, there is no damage so old that He can’t heal it.
He is a father that never drinks, doesn’t do drugs, never hits or yells and when you need to feel safe and secure he will protect you and hide you under the shadow of his wings.
Maybe you even feel like there is not much left to save, you believe in God and you’ve prayed the salvation prayer and still feel no different, you feel like you’re praying to someone out in the middle of the universe and He is so far away that He just can’t hear you.

But I promise, He does and if you will just scoop up all those ashes and take them to Him and just say, I really don’t want these anymore, I promise you in exchange He will give you beauty, joy unspeakable, peace that washes over you and a love unlike anything you have ever known.

“To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for their ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they may be garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they may be called  the tree of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that he might be glorified.” Isaiah 61:8

He wants you to have His beauty, that your joy in Him will be full, to clothe you with the beautiful robe of His righteousness and give you a song in your heart that will see you through even the darkest night.

The deeper the root the harder it is to get it out of the ground. Jesus said some things only go by fasting and prayer so please let me make a few suggestions.

Pray: But not a “chanty” prayer, talk to Him just as you would face to face.

He will never tell anyone else your secrets and He will never remind you of your mistakes.
And if you have to cry it all, well he understands that language too. You may not know what exactly your problem is, but He does, remember, He does.

Be yourself with Him, don’t focus on what you have been falsely taught that you need to be, focus on Him. We all stumble but He is right, ready to help us up, dust us off and encourage to try it again. He loved you enough to die an unbelievably brutal death on the cross, what more could he say to convince you?

Fast: Of course, food is usually the first choice but it does not have to be, just decide what you want to surrender and for how long and dedicate that time to Him, avoid negative people and surround yourself with uplifting music and join a good Christian website, Charles Stanley, Brian Houston Hill Song, and Joseph Prince are very encouraging.

That doesn’t mean I agree with everything they believe but I do know you have to be very careful of doctrines. God will send us messages when we need them but we must be “tuned in” to hear them. Watch only wholesome programs during this time, David Phelps has a song “Just as I am” that also would offer you some hope that you are not alone.

Finally, keep at it, I’m not telling you that your life will be perfect, far from it, and that once those wounds have been dressed and healed by the Lord that the scar tissue is never gonna hurt, there will also probably even be a giant or two along the way that will have to be slain.
But I am promising you that once the breath of God blows upon those ashes, their scattering revealing a small, yet still flickering flame, the fresh air causing it to ignite in you a fire of the glory of God burning so bright through you that you will never, ever be the same.

Once the Holy Ghost has mounted you up on wings as an eagle you will fly so high above that scattered mess only pausing long enough to ask Him if he is sure that the gray mass below really once had been you, His confirmation that yes, you truly have been freed, and then you will laugh with joy unspeakable and you will continue to fly until we meet in the hereafter.
Originally Posted: 05/28/14

All Rights Reserved. Reverend Nina BrownJohnson/ baresoulphlogizo 2015