ORANGE, YELLOW, AND PAINFULLY BLUE

As we were having dinner at our Christian homeschooling groups back to school bash, a tiny toddler across from me at the picnic table suddenly pointed to a nearby tree, its leaves showing signs of the inevitable changes that were soon coming, “Mommy, Mommy, that tree!” she shouted, her Mother taking  a quick glance, turning back to her child she softly replied, “Yes, honey, it’s getting fall.”
In my heart, I thought “in more ways than one”, the air starting to shift and the trees now gracefully giving over to their seasonal death in a brilliant display of colors and hues, as if to say I have saved my best for last and will be more beautiful in my dying than my living.
So many of us in this funny little mid-life age group have suddenly been faced with the autumn of our lives and as we often tend not to think of ourselves in years but rather seasons. And I being the victim of a certain type of memory tend to just be and something said or done or entire conversations and seemingly unimportant details can be brought back with crystal clarity and then it dawns on me that was thirty or forty years ago.
PARENTAL MORTALITY. There I said it and have wrestled with it since the death of my brother, we planned to always be there for Mom and Dad and sit around in our nineties in our rockers retelling the tale of the blizzard of ’09.
But as that story came to an end and my generation of our family seeming to bear an astronomical genetic probability to developing cancer, having six first cousins also that died from it, like my brother, before even hitting fifty, but I also have two who won the battle. But somewhere in the back of all our minds it does make one question their own mortality. But as with all of creation, seasons change.
The new change began when my parents, whose home once buzzed with family, laughter and extremely rambunctious children, became more quite with each passing year.

Grandchildren growing up and starting their own lives, other family members just simply growing distant, far too busy pursing their own desires to take time to enjoy what is now becoming more and more precious with each passing moment.
My Dad who is now eighty-one has started to slow done a bit and has asked me on more than one occasion, “Wonder why ___ won’t come visit?” As his child this hurts more than words can express and my flesh wants to just scream because they are self-centered but from my mouth comes no answer.
My Mom who had always been the family rock, at seventy-eight has started to walk a little slower and losing two of her children has been a very heavy burden, I know if the Lord did not help her carry it she would break under the weight.
As I have watched all this come to pass, I say in my heart,”You both have to live forever, you are you and you are strong, you are invincible.”
Anyone else going through this? You watch more and more family members just fade away? I have seen it more than once, I had a wonderful friend from church, she passed away at eighty-three in 2008, we became close after her husband passed away and we talked almost everyday on the phone, one day she asked if knew what she did on Sunday’s, I told her No and she went on to tell me that Sunday had been her and her husband day to get out together, and after he passed no one came to visit her and she sat there and cried all day until church time. This lady had five children plus grandchildren, but they were all just “too busy” for her.
So we worry and worry and the Lord said for us to be anxious for nothing because tomorrow will give thought for itself.
We only have one option, the best option, just believe and trust God and be there for them,(remembering also the seniors God has allowed us to cross paths with because love doesn’t have to be blood family) all the while knowing that once autumn has passed and gives way to the cold, bitter howl of winter winds and there will be days that the hard ice and snow cuts against our skin, causing the pain to be almost unbearable and that the near white out conditions will make us, at times, almost snow blind to see the Lord’s hand in all things.
Rest assured as the blizzard slows and the winds cease, it will give way to the peaceful moonlight reflected from snow-covered mountains now majestic under a dazzling covering of frozen glitter straight from heaven, while earth shimmers in its glow.
“Surely I have behaved (calmed) and quieted myself, as a child weaned of his mother.” Psalm 131:2
We will never be strong enough, but God is, and as those changes come, just hold on, keep our eyes focused on spring, when all things will be made new and eternal.
“My beloved spake, and said unto me RISE UP, my love, my fair one and come away.
For lo, WINTER is passed, thee rain is over and gone.
The flowers appear on earth; the time of the singing of the birds is come, and the voice of the turtle (doves) is heard in our land;
The fig tree putteth forth her green figs, and the vines with the tender grape give a good smell. ARISE, my love, my fair one, and COME AWAY.” Song of Solomon 2:10-13
Called up out of the grave or taken in holy union in the sky, either way, SPRING IS COMING for us all. And our God will be the gentle hand to lead us through even the most trying of seasonal changes.

Nina BrownJohnson/ Baresoulphlogizo  2015 all rights reserved
Φλογίζω / original post: 09/12/2014 Avenue/FOWC